(FOR LADIES ONLY: SEXY REVERSIBLE SMOKING JACKET PREVIEW BELOW)

TODDLER SHATTERS LAND SPEED RECORD

BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS, AUGUST 2- Through the years, these bleak salt flats have borne witness to some of the greatest feats in man's quest for speed. Now, another deed can be added to that long and illustrious list.

Last weekend, 13-month-old Bosco Breedlove established a new land speed record for toddlers, setting a torrid pace that left speed-scene veterans in disbelief. Wearing a pair of Babyrounds, the new aerodynamic pants from Cordarounds, the Reno native was clocked at an astounding 1.04 miles per hour, shattering the previous mark of 1.02 miles per hour, set in 1966 by so-called "Soviet Superbaby" Yuri Markov. (Later that afternoon, Breedlove recorded an unofficial 1.06 miles per hour as he rushed to retrieve his stuffed chimp, Cookies, from the family's living room.)

More remarkable than Breedlove's sheer velocity was his acceleration. Experts speculate that had the youngster not been rapidly decelerated by "diaper drag" as well as a great big hug from Grandpa, he could have theoretically reached Mach speed.

Since last week's launch of these tike-size trousers with Cordarounds' trademark horizontal-corduroy design, toddlers across America have been blazing through playgrounds, day care centers and whimsically themed pizza restaurants. Says Cordarounds founder Chris Lindland, "We're pleased to provide toddlers with a product that's as stylish as it is educational. What other garment can give children a firsthand demonstration of the awesome power of physics?"

You may now purchase limited edition babyrounds in the Cordarounds Store. Why limited? Click here.

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REVERSIBLE SMOKING JACKET COUNTDOWN: 14 DAYS

Gentlemen need read no further. Rest assured that we will reward you with a new line of reversible smoking jackets on August 16th.

All the menfolk we know are far too hideous to grace these pixels. Case in point. So, ladies of the Cordarounds mailing list, we invite you, and only you, to view the following...

FORWARD TO A FRIEND

For thirst-quenching summer reading, visit Electric Storytime.