Brown Alert!
January 15, 2010 |
In response to reports this week of trouserless hordes rampaging through America's public transit systems, the President has raised the national pant-threat level to an unprecedented brown!
Thank goodness this spate of bottomless bedlam coincides with the release of a special batch of Cordarounds brown britches! Why, what better way to show your support for the rule of law than by wearing a pair of these trousers, lovingly crafted by the Internet's all-American haberdashery -- in coordination with the Department of Homeland Security.
On the outside, they’re a rich, full-bodied brown -- much like that of a Kodiak bear, his fur glistening from a fresh kill. Inside, however, you'll find a sublime Opiate liner, so named because it conjures up visions of a far gentler milieu. (Remember those dreamy weeks in the Orient, curled up in the darkened corner of Baron Chou's basement brothel, tethered to an opium pipe? Now you surely will.)
These limited-edition corduroy trousers are live in our store. Rest assured you'll be the envy of panted and pantless patriots alike when you slip on a pair of these brown beauties.
What can you do to stop pantlessness in America? Click here to purchase a pair of Cordarounds. Or click here to join a trouser militia in your hometown.
Thank goodness this spate of bottomless bedlam coincides with the release of a special batch of Cordarounds brown britches! Why, what better way to show your support for the rule of law than by wearing a pair of these trousers, lovingly crafted by the Internet's all-American haberdashery -- in coordination with the Department of Homeland Security.
On the outside, they’re a rich, full-bodied brown -- much like that of a Kodiak bear, his fur glistening from a fresh kill. Inside, however, you'll find a sublime Opiate liner, so named because it conjures up visions of a far gentler milieu. (Remember those dreamy weeks in the Orient, curled up in the darkened corner of Baron Chou's basement brothel, tethered to an opium pipe? Now you surely will.)
These limited-edition corduroy trousers are live in our store. Rest assured you'll be the envy of panted and pantless patriots alike when you slip on a pair of these brown beauties.
What can you do to stop pantlessness in America? Click here to purchase a pair of Cordarounds. Or click here to join a trouser militia in your hometown.
