Each year, Cordarounds celebrates the Southern Gentlemanly arts and sciences with the issue of limited edition seersucker trousers and fine, porch-worthy tales. Today, we proudly release blue stripe seersuckers along with the story of one, P. Orpheus Butterfox, the world's first Dixienaut.

P. Orpheux Butterfox / Beauregard P. Delacroix / Austindale Crockett / O. Rutherford Picking

SWAMPOPOLIS, Mississippi -- As dawn broke yesterday over a landscape of cotton fields and gently swaying pine trees, what seemed like the entire population of Giblets County had begun gathering on the town square. The object of their attention was local aristocrat P. Orpheus Butterfox, who was preparing to fulfill his lifelong ambition: to reach outer space.

Medically discharged from NASA's human spaceflight program in the early1960s for a chronic case of julep-elbow, this now-legendary torch-bearer for the gentlemanly arts decided that the only way he was going to get into space was to get there himself. Armed with legendary Butterfox stubbornness and an engineering degree from the University of Mississippi, he proceeded to eschew a lucrative position in the family molasses business and spend the next four decades planning his interstellar journey.

"It is indeed a pleasure of the highest sort, that I may greet you in these moments before I journey to the heavens in my most wondrous and stately star-craft,” said Butterfox, 68, pointing to the gleaming mahogany rocket ship standing in a nearby magnolia grove -- a  rocket ship he had spent years painstakingly carving by hand. "With the companionship of my loyal blue tick hound and a picnic basket containing the very finest fried chickens and other delectable victuals prepared so lovingly by the Daughters of the Confederacy, my time in outer space shall be as relaxing as a gentle night of yarn-spinnin’ and whiskey-sippin' upon my porch!"

According to Swampopolis Mission Control, the Butterfox rocket ship was nearly fully provisioned and ready to launch, with final shipments of freeze-dried snuff and Templeton's Gold Star Mustache Wax due to arrive by nightfall. Workers could be seen running to and fro as they made final launch preparations, which included ensuring that the distinguished Southern gentleman’s trusty Winchester shotgun had been thoroughly cleaned and loaded, lest the alien life forms he expects to encounter "prove themselves to be of an ornery disposition."


The air in Swampopolis was suffused by the pleasant aroma of burning hickory wood, which fuels the Butterfox rocket. The fire must be constantly stoked, both to produce enough vertical thrust to escape the Earth’s atmosphere as well as to provide a warm and inviting environment for Butterfox to peruse the many leather-bound volumes in his onboard library.


Another unique feature of this spacecraft is its specially designed heat shield, which is made entirely of Cordarounds seersucker material. "As I return to Earth from my heavenly jaunt, my star-craft shall need its sheath of soft, cool seersucker to repel the dastardly heat of reentry," said Butterfox.  "And I, too, shall be adorned in suckerlab seersucker finery during the whole of my astronautical adventure." And with that, Butterfox slowly turned a complete circle, allowing the growing crowd to admire his new Cordarounds seersucker pants.

“Is there a more fashionable interstellar traveler in these parts?" cried Butterfox, a fresh gin and tonic sloshing gently in his hand as curtsied to the hundreds of onlookers. "By the sweet nape of gentle Persephone’s neck, I dare think not!”