In these dark times, a ray of light

The financial apocalypse is upon us, my friends. But don’t despair. Through the swirling dust of crumbled investment banks and the haze of towering bonfires of foreclosure papers, there is a light ― pure and true. A shining beacon in these dark and troubled times.

We’re talking about the new Cordarounds Bike to Work pants, of course.

Our Cordarounds trouser scientists have finally managed to inject some enthusiasm into the common khaki pant, the sartorial staple of millions of hard-working, pant-wearing Americans. See, our Bike to Work pants are not just khakis ― they’re khakis with an inner brilliance.

What makes them so brilliant? For one thing, the pant cuffs are lined with two-ply, eye-frying reflect-o-cloth. Or, to be more technically accurate, they’re made with Illuminite's® reflective Teflon fabric ― a material that defiantly bounces light, deflects splatter, and comes in an attractive navy blue. And the fringes are framed in 3M Scotchlite®, which casts searing sabers of light into the eyes of oncoming drivers.

That’s not all. Inspired by our friends in the long-haul trucking industry, the trousers’ rear evil-eye pockets can deploy as shiny mudflaps, creating a pair of additional super-wide surfaces of reflectivity on your posterior as you pedal, paddle or perambulate your way around town.

But make no mistake, these pants look and feel exactly like normal, high-quality khakis. Wear them at work ― assuming you’re still employed ― and they’re a handsome pair of brushed pebble cotton trousers. To and from work, however, they can easily transform into a stylish, light-reflecting dynamo, capable of repulsing the glare of dune buggy headlights, mutant-hobo campfires, alien laser cannons and any other light-emitting encumbrance you may encounter on your travels in our dystopian future.