SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 21 — Say farewell to Metro. All hail the dawn of the Cromagnosexual. This fall, the most stylish men on the planet are wearing Cordarounds’ hearty horizontal-corduroy pants ...and "suffering" moderate to severe cases of cauliflower ear.

The medical community calls it "destruction of cartilage due to trauma that results in a thickened and deformed ear," but leading fashionistas from New York to Shanghai report that these funky lobes will be cruising the runways in ’06. Accompanied, of course, by pairs of Cordarounds, long recognized as the perfect pant for today's hottest rugby injuries.

Famed trend seer Coco Pitts explained the new Cromagno look thusly: "A pair of Cordarounds trousers not only looks scrum-ptious, the meshing, horizontal corduroy wales reduce crotch-heat friction, sending sperm counts skyrocketing to caveman levels. Combine that with cauliflower ear -- a trademark occupational hazard of the Neanderthal -- and you’ve got a hot look that says, 'I'm a hunter-gatherer who works hard – and plays violently! I'm Cromagno!"

Indeed, the formerly Metro are hurrying to join the maul in the hopes of getting that perfect, mangled ear to complement their new pair of Cordarounds. What’s more, plastic surgeons are reporting a sharp increase in the number of patients requesting cosmetic cauliflowerings. Says Cordarounds founder Chris Lindland: “Naturally, the rough and tumble will be drawn to our hearty trousers in 2006, creating a style combination that’s going to be hard to beat -- even with a caveman's club.”

Lindland then removed a pair of earmuffs to reveal his own swollen and malformed ear stubs. "Cromagno," he declared, briefly wincing at the pain.

*If you have a photo of yourself wearing Cordarounds and would like to complete the look with a rugger's cauliflower ear (but want to spare yourself the dangers of the scrum), write us and we'll send you a Cauliflower ear of your very own.

**Your comments are always welcome.

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Since its limited release last holiday season, the powers of the Cordarounds reversible smoking jacket have become borderline semi-legendary.  Gentlemen the world over have sent countless ho-hum happy hours spiraling into flights of Hefnerian debauchery, simply by turning their corduroy jackets inside-out-- and revealing their silky-smooth secret.

Now we're making jackets for the ladies.

We have to test them first, of course, and for that we’ve turned to our intrepid friend, Loryn*. This Friday, she embarks on a quest to harness the powers of her jacket to secure a hearty, Midwestern male in the name of Science.  And what better place to do so than the new boozing capital of the United States -- Milwaukee.

Last week, Cordarounds held a Fun Raiser at the The Blackhorse to send this dauntless San Francisco single on A MILWAUKEE MANHUNT TO FIND THE MYTHICAL MAN OF THE MIDWEST.  Thanks to many generous and somewhat perplexed patrons, we raised $420 (see below).

You can help, too!  Wherever you are, just wear your Cordarounds Friday night as a sign of support.  And if you want to contribute directly,  red Cordarounds t-shirts will be available for purchase through this weekend, with each and every cent going toward Loryn’s travel fund.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and the WKTI morning show have heralded the imminent arrival of this brave adventurer, and Cordarounds is confident that her exploits will soon supplant Baby Suri as the news of the day.

If you live in Milwaukee or know someone who does, the Manhunt begins tomorrow night at 6 at Sauce (217 North Broadway, in the Third Ward).If you have any last minute Milwaukee Manhunt travel tips or encouragement for Loryn, don’t hesitate to leave them in our blog.

To adventure!

Loryn is pictured with a pitcher 'o cash and The Black Horse owner, James.

*Ok, there’s a chance we may have goaded her into doing this.

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