Now that soccer season has arrived, we think it’s the perfect time to discuss Shortarounds, our line of Cordarounds shorts. These are faithful replicas of 19th century Welsh “sporting breeches,” the trousers of choice for fierce devotees of a legendary gentleman’s game that would give rise to the modern game of soccer. That sport was none other than Skunk Kicking.

Whether Skunk Kicking grew out of boredom or a deep resentment toward skunks, we cannot say. The rules were strikingly simple: chase and, if possible, kick a skunk – without being sprayed, clawed or having one’s toes chewed off. Suffice it to say, competitors had to move deftly.

In 1837, the so-called “aristocrathletes” of Wales decided to reorient the wales of their corduroy shorts horizontally, an aerodynamic innovation that forever changed the sport. With their newfound quickness, they could deploy a full arsenal of talents – dribbling, passing, and bicycle-kicking the skunk – while easily avoiding a foul-smelling reprisal.

The horizontal shorts worked too well. So nimble and fleet of foot did these skunk kickers become, there was soon no challenge in simply kicking a skunk. Why, with a pair of horizontal corduroys, any portly schoolboy or one-legged knave could suddenly kick like Rees “Thunderfoot” Llewellyn, Cardiff’s skunk-kicking wonder!

In a vain effort to preserve the sport’s exclusivity, the Welsh elite devised a confusing set of rules, including indirect skunk kicks, off sides, and golden goals, but their efforts were for naught. Across Britannia, sport-crazed commoners quickly learned the rules of the game and, what’s more, feverishly applied black and white paint to anything they could get their hands on – sheep bladders, hog heads, hedgehogs and a variety of pastries, to name just a few – in lieu of an exceedingly expensive skunk. Then in 1845, a Scottish cobbler named Jarvis Meade created his legendary “Foot Ball,” and the Beautiful Game was officially born.

In this matter, we at Cordarounds have been accused of historical revisionism, a crass attempt to cash in on the popularity of the World Cup. To that we say: Is it mere coincidence that the modern soccer ball is black and white? Or that a lopsided defeat is known as a “skunking”? Note the hairstyle on Serbian World Cup striker Daniel Ljuboja. We rest our case.

Now you can wear a piece of history – and look great doing it. Cordarounds is pleased to offer our new line of horizontal-corduroy shorts. Wear them with your favorite soccer jersey, and tell the world that you have a profound appreciation for the history of the sport.